I had strange experience the other night, I am not sure I can even describe how I felt, but I am going to try. First though - I have to back up and give you background!
Jody's dad, Mark has lung cancer and has been slowly going down hill for the past 4 months. A couple weeks ago Jody went to see his dad for a couple days and we decided we needed to go again this past weekend. We left Friday morning and got to St. George around noon. We relieved Jody's uncle Mike who had been caring for Jody's dad. It is a tough job!!! Mark is beginning the dying process and his body is weak. He wants to do all the things he has done for himself for decades, but his body just isn't strong enough. On Friday he ate very well, but by the time we left on Monday he was no longer hungry for any food and was so weak he could barely get a fork to his mouth.
Needless to say caring for him is draining, both physically and emotionally. Sunday night Jody and I went to bed exhausted, I was armed with my ear plugs and my iPod (to help drowned out the noise of Jody's snoring). Sometime around 1am I woke up and decided to listen to my music. I have a Wow Worship album I like to fall asleep to. And then it happened. In the still of the night I began to thirst in a way I have never done before. I wasn't thirsty in the physical, I need something to drink sense, but spiritually, I was more thirsty then I have EVER felt!!! I always hear about being thirsty for God's Word, but I just needed to worship - like I needed my next breath, I needed to worship. Surrounded by an impending death, I needed to worship the giver of life. Like I said, I cannot even describe the way I felt, like my need to worship almost took my breath away, like i could only function to do this one thing. For the next 3 hours, I listened to worship music and gave glory to the Almighty God - the only ONE worthy of my worship. Around 4:30 I feel asleep again and when I woke up around 6 the feeling was gone, but the memory of it was as clear as day.
Death is such a weird thing to me. Although I am not scared to die, because I know my creator and am given the promise of eternity with HIM. I guess because we were created as eternal beings death just seems so unnatural, unfair and mysterious. I have never been this involved in the dying process, watching a body shut down, and I pray I never have to do it again. It is heartbreaking!
I seek your prayers as Jody and I walk this unfamiliar path. Mark still has not accepted Jesus, and I do not want him to step into eternity with knowing Jesus as his Saviour. Pray for that. Pray that Mark is comforted, pain free and will learn to relax. Pray for Jody and Mark's brother Mike - they are the closest to Mark and will feel the loss the greatest. Pray that I can support Jody just how he needs me to. Pray that these last days (we are told no more that 3 weeks - but we think it will be less) will be a precious time for remembering the good times! Thanks, friends!
Serving Him,
Jess
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment