A Little Miracle Inside . . .

While I am catching up on this blog, there is one event I want to document as it has thrown my world for a loop and I don't want to forget the feelings that are still a bit raw.  On May 24 of this year I found out I was pregnant.  I was completely dumb founded!!!  I was told years ago that I do not ovulate regularly, and honestly, after months of charting and trying, I had given up any hope of having any biological children.  God had given me two beautiful girls who I have wonderful relationships with, and I was completely content with the little family I had.  I had life "planned" out and then a single pregnancy test, changed my life.  I literally spent 24 hours in a daze trying to believe that all the dreams of having a baby I had once had, and still occasionally thought about, were going to come true.

A mere 29 hours later it all changed,  I started to have signs of a  miscarriage and after a trip to the ER was told that the young, 6 week old sac had collapsed and I would miscarry within a day or two.  Talk about an emotional roller coater!!

The days that followed proved to be more difficult then I ever imagined.  Out of whack hormones, pain and sadness filled the void that had just hours before been the miracle of life inside me.  I spent three days on bed rest, a couple trips to the hospital and got poked by more needles then my whole life up to that point. 

I could not be more thankful for a handful of people that took such amazing care of me.  Phone calls, text messages and words of encouragement kept me moving forward!  My wonderful husband and a couple key friends, including my mom, Amy, Kim and the girls showed me support and love I desperately needed during the days that followed.

I am not sure why God took me through that, and maybe I will never know.  I do know that even though it was for only a short time, I feel beyond blessed to have carried a precious life here on earth.  I also know that on THAT day, I will embrace my sweet child in the presence of The One who created us both.  Jody and I have both been in prayer about the possibility of getting pregnant again and whether that is right for us.  I am begging God for answers, for His will to be accomplished and glorified.  Time will tell :o).

Serving him,
Jess